Thankful Thursday

I've had a really tough week.  And I wrote it down...I've tried not to do that.  I'm thankful I wrote it down this time. God brought some amazing sisters alongside of me and they whispered some amazing truths to me.  There are too many to mention, but one spoke some words in her blog that were reiterated in the comments by a sweet girl who found her circumstances miserable but her position in Christ not changed...and for that she was thankful.  Beautiful thankfulness.

I've heard this song so many times. I've seen it sung personally in concert. But today I am especially thankful for it.  For no matter my circumstances, it will never change WHO I am in Christ and there is nothing to be more thankful for than that.

What are you thankful for this week? Go visit Iris and share with us, won't ya?




May the Lord bless you this day!

Truth

I saw this tag and I just loved it.  It's wonderful and truthful.  I'm just struggling with truth these days.  I'm such an honest person and I've been dealt a hand on dishonesty and for a long long time.  I'm trying to decipher which parts of my life are fact and which are fiction.  And it makes you, correction, it has made me reclusive and without the ability to trust in too much or too many.

I'm going to confess something to you, my sisters in blogland, that really nobody else knows or probably even cares about, other than my sister, who stays worried about me these days.  I haven't been to church since February.  I can't seem to go. I know the Word.  I know it's where I need to go. I'm just too filled with pain.  And I'm not going to go and sit and cry.  And I don't want pity.  And I don't want people thinking "gosh, he's done it to her again".  And the list could go on.  I've had to leave so many churches.  I've lost so many friends.

At this point in my life, I feel as if I have the blood of Christ on trial.  I know how horrible that sounds.  I love Him with all of me.  I don't understand if He provides a way out of temptation why some people take it and others don't.   I don't understand if He makes you a new creature why my issues in the past I have to let go of and yet they are supposedly the very basis for addiction for my husband.  Why is the responsibility of a hard heart put on me? Yes, I'm allowed a way out but only if my heart is hard.  My heart is in too many pieces to be hard, soft, anything.  I can't even know why my husband married me because I've been told it was because he had a bad dream and he thought he was going to die so he married me???? I endure countless emails from these women and most days I hold to what God wants me to do.  My heart is broke for what breaks His and I do the right thing.  But not this last week.  The things that have come out of my mouth are not pleasing to God and I don't even like who I am. 

I have hurt people in my life when I have thought I was being a good wife.  It was times when my husband was sinning and they could see a change and / or they were just being godly Christian brothers and sisters and because of his sin he gave me incorrect counsel and now they are no longer a part of my life.  I find myself angry over that and it's been a long time ago.  I don't even know how to go about making all of these messes right. 

I don't even know how to be a good wife anymore.  Or a good person.  I'm trying.  If I knew how to turn off the comments, I would.  I don't want anyone to feel like I'm looking for pity or sympathy.  I'm just crying again and it won't stop.  It never stops. And so I thought if I wrote it down, maybe that would help. 1 John 1:9...yea, I know the scriptures.  I know the Lord.  And I know He isn't happy with me right now.  Maybe that's why I can't stop the tears.  I've always wanted to be pleasing to Him.  And I've failed.

I was just going to write that I can't end this on a positive note, that I don't have it in me when the doorbell rang and it was my sister bringing me over lunch to make sure I ate something.  I know God is good.  I just have to remember and hold fast.

Happy SONday

May the Lord bless you this day!

Then Sings My Soul Saturdays

Happy Saturday!  I'm linking with Amy @ Signs, Miracles and Wonders today and posting a worship song to our King Jesus!  This is always one of my most favorite times of the week.  The songs that are picked just resonate throughout the day with me and it's just impossible not to be worshipping the King in song.  I found a song called "Faithful" on Godtube.  There is no artist listed, however, it is so beautiful and kept me captivated about the only Faithful One.  He is so good!

May the Lord's praises be sung throughout your day!  God bless you!

Friday Funnies

Happy Friday everyone!  I'm linking up with my sweet friend, Kimmy, for Friday Funnies.  This is always fun for a giggle or two. 

Oh my friends, this just cracks me up....you know we are going to be hearing this soon, if we haven't already! lol

Blessings to you!  Have a wonderful, fun filled, giggle filled Friday!!

Word for Wednesday

http://internetcafedevotions.com/

Psalm 36:5 "Your love, O Lord, reaches to the Heavens; Your faithfulness to the skies"

I know I've got my face and hands lifted in adoration....how about you?  Big hugs, my sisters!!

Tuesday's Truth

 

"I will praise you as long as I live, and in Your name I will lift up my hands"! Psalm 63:4

I love this Psalm.  It soothes my tired and weary soul.  Psalm 63:1 "A Psalm of David when he was in the Wilderness of Judah.  O God, You are my God; Early I will seek You; My soul thirsts for You; in a dry thirsty land where there is no water. 2) So I have looked for you in the sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory. 3) Because your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You."

I pray these words are more than just words to you today.  I pray that they reach in and grab ahold of your inner being and you know that when you thirst...He is the answer!  When you are in the wilderness, He is your fortress, your sanctuary.  His lovingkindness knows no bounds.  Praise Him! He is so worthy!  Amen!! 

Blue Monday

HappyBlue Monday! I'm linking up with Smiling Sally and showing you some of the shots of the blue blue sky from the air on our way to San Antonio and then the last shot is my adorable son in a beautiful blue shirt letting the Mariachi band know they did a great job!

Hope everyone has a beautiful blue Monday.  God displays some amazing blue out there.  Enjoy it! 

Happy Father's Day

Word for Wednesday

John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends".

May the Lord bless you this day!

Flashback....missing him

Warning:  post may be chock full of pictures and me feeling sorry for myself! 

Josh and baby Jason on the riverwalk in San Antonio having lunch.  Brendan and Jason never wanted to be away from him for a second.  They adore him.  Brendan took it especially hard when he left. :(

Here is Joshua, Brendan, Krystle and Jason at the Natural Caverns.  They all agreed that this was their favorite place that we visited.

And here is my young man at the processional at his graduation!  Finally taking the walk he had worked so hard for! 

Receiving his diploma! So, so proud!

The pillow he knelt on for his prayer.  His initials were engraved on it.  It now rests on his bed and I periodically go in and straighten it up.  You know, if he was home, it would need that because it would be buried under a ton of dirty clothes! lol

He still needs to hug and love on his Dad.

And I still need to hug and love on him.

After the graduation ceremony, we came home to Florida and had a few days to prepare for his going away party.  My bonus Mom, Kathy, made this cake for Joshua.  He only likes funfetti cake so she made this for him.  It was priceless! 

Joshua and his Mimi, who made him his cake.  He later ended up putting his whole face in that cake! 

We had found a bunch of Army shirts at Bealls.  They proved to make for a nice picture at the end of the party when we were trying to get in the last minute pictures.  I think you can tell by my expression that it was all beginning to sink in and I had been told one too many times that day that I was not allowed to go to Basic and for various reasons that made absolutely no sense to me! lol

Thanks for bearing with me as I had this flashback.  I'm loving ya.  And I'm missing him.  Joshua Paul....I found the moon for you tonight....and it was pretty :)  Jesus loves you, honey.  Stay strong, Army strong!

Blue Monday

It's Blue Monday!  I'm linking up with Smiling Sally and showing you the blue that made me smile this week!  This is my nephew and he was playing in my pool and he was having a really good time.  He was on the skim board trying to walk on water, laying on the board humming "we wish you a merry Christmas" ?????, and finally cajoled me in the pool where we had a great time together.  Yes, the lazy days of summer are here and school is behind him.  He will be going into the 5th grade and my other nephew will be going into the 3rd grade.  I hope to get time with both of them this summer.

God bless you!  Great big hugs!!!

Happy SONday!!

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

Happy Saturday everyone!  It's the day to link up with Amy @ Signs, Miracles & Wonders and post a worship song.  I've chosen Starfield singing "Son of God".  I've chosen this song before but I'm a big fan and I know Josh always loved this song so I'm posting it mainly to make myself cry. lol  I love Saturdays and hearing the beautiful songs everyone chooses to praise Jesus with.  If you would like to participate, click here.

Friday Funnies

Happy Friday!  I'm linking up with my pal, Kimmy, and posting a funny today.  Hopefully, Kimmy will be giggling. 

Two Little Boys.

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it and yet were at a loss at how to discipline them.  Nothing seemed to stop them.







If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.







The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.







The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.







The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, 'Do you know where God is, son?'







The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.







So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, 'Where is God?'







Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, 'Where is God?'







The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.







When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, 'What happened?'







The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, 'We are in BIG trouble this time,'



(I just LOVE reading this next line again and again:)



'GOD is missing, and they think we did it!'



Bah ha ha.....Hope you are having a wonderful Friday.  Remember to smile and share a laugh with someone you love today.  Big hugs from me to you!!!

Thankful Thursday

It's Thankful Thursday.  I have so much to be thankful for.  It's been so long since I've posted on a TT but it's high time I've gotten my thankstitude in shape and start thanking the Lord for all of His mercies in every form they come!  Amen! 

Thank you, Iris @ Grace Alone for being our gracious host.

I am thankful that the Lord has been holding my hand through the most difficult time of my life these days.  Each time I thought I was exhausted, overwhelmed and was at the end of my perverbial rope, the Lord tied a knot and held on to me tightly!  Jeremiah 33:3 "Call to me and I will answer thee".

I am thankful that my son turned eighteen and then the following week he graduated magna cum laude and we flew our to Texas for his graduation.  The Lord granted us safety and some wonderful family times together.  We went with my sister, Candy and her family and we made some wonderful memories that will help to sustain us while Joshua is away. Psalm 146:5 "Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the Lord his God".

I am thankful that my son was able to make a two minute call from Tampa to tell me he was getting ready to get on a plane to go to Atlanta and then be bused to Ft. Benning, Ga.  I interjected a few questions like what airline, etc...and he said "Mom, I only have two minutes and the line is going to shut off so you have to let me talk, ok"?  I  said "ok".  He said, "Mom, I love you".  Click....line went dead.  Gulp.  Big lump in throat.  But oh how I am thankful for that call.  I know I won't hear from him for awhile now.  I'm praying over him and hoping he is settling into his new routine well.  I feel as if I have a huge hole in my heart and sometimes a big wave of sheer "i need to see his face right this minute" but I will stop and pray and the Lord stills me and quiets me and reminds me that He formed and fashioned this child and He loves him just as much as I do. Psalm 91:1 "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty".

Yes, I am thankful.  Thankful for everything the Lord has done for me and my family these last couple of weeks and I am mindful of what He has always been faithful to do and will do.  Love you, Jesus!